Thursday, December 31, 2009

the comedian-2

i have an abscess on my gum line. most lonely hours are spent tonguing about the area. there is a twinge from the pain but nothing too great, more like an annoyance or hobby. as i sit on park bench spotlighted by street lamp i rub a pencil between hands trying to forget, though like the hiccups it comes on again. while writing i find my tongue sneaking up, giving a quick brush then off before i can catch him.
i am frustrated. i am a man in a sky blue suit, non ruffled shirt open at the collar. there is a potato sack covering my face and as i feel my tongue darting i bite down then spit a bit of blood. gasping at the new pain amazed at the pain we get used to. the pain we can forget.

a joke:

there is this father. he is forty-two years old today. he has not been able to get a replacement for the job he lost ten months ago. his family has not been able to find a buyer for the house they are going to lose two weeks from now. they have downgraded from new toyota's to old ones by way of reposession and family loan.
his wife works to make ends meet but she makes too much to qualify for public support. the state food stamps are out of reach. the state health plan is out of reach and insurance will cost them four hundred dollars.
today is this guy's birthday.

3

how ridiculous! there are some who would let it stop them. there are those that believe you have to have a stage, that you have to wait until a club allows you on before you can perform. can you believe that? my stage is where i am standing at the moment i begin.
i have performed on street corner, on escalators, on parking structures and in toilets. dreams are gardens that have to be constantly tended. some may sit in their apartments or worn couch homes and think 'i will start on this day when this happens' like the obese and their pursuit of the perfect monday or the drunk and his search for rock bottom.
i was that once. now i have a bag to cover what motivates me. now i see. alone, when i towel from a shower, the commitment it takes.
i read about the christ. i read about the begging disciples, the whining disciples his motivation. he taught before them, but now with dependents it becomes something of more power. it becomes pressing to prove the dream so to prove their time was not in vain and they are not the joke of the neighborhood. look how far he proved that.
'no, your crazy' they would say, or think.

a joke

how do you get a republican to help the middle class? have a democrat vote against it.

a joke

my neighbor went off to afghanistan only to have his left blown off by a seven year old. when the child was questioned why he did it he said, 'my father told me to.'
so i asked my neighbor, i said 'what do you think the we ought to do in the middle east?'
he stared down at his stub and said, 'glass make it lots of glass.'
i though about this then asked 'but what about the jews?'
he sucked his teeth for a moment and said, 'don't we celebrate christmas, here?'

a joke
how do you make a anti abortion rally disperse?
you ask them to adopt the babies.

there are good days and then bad. the crowd that has gathered seems to be cold. the only one who hasn't groaned or pushed their finger towards me is a woman who seems to be on her lunch break.
'boo!' they say.
'not funny!' they say.
'i know somebody that...' they say.

a joke
i use to think it should be illegal for lesbians to use dildos. then i watched my first pornographic movie.

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